Whether you’re a member of Team Stefan orTeam Damon, on one point we all agree: Damon Salvatore is the snark king of Mystic Falls. Sure he mumbles. And he has a tendency to smirk. But, oh, the things that come out of his mouth! Here are Damon’s top 20 zingers from this season to date.
20. No big deal
Alaric (in ”By the Light of the Moon”): Where is Mason anyway?
Damon: Decomposing in his truck.
19. Cocky much?
Damon (to Elena in “Bad Moon Rising”): Oh, come on. You know I chipped a little bit off your wall of hatred.
18. And now a weather report
Elena (in “The Return”): Hey. How are you doing?
Damon: Great Elena. I’m walking on sunshine. Thanks for asking.
17. Oh, snap!
Stefan(in “The Return”): What happened tonight when you thought she was Elena?
Damon: To risk another frown line encroaching on a very crowded forehead. We. Kissed.
16. And snap some more
Damon (to Bonnie in “The Return”): Now you need to stop with the witches brew. You’re starting to believe your own press.
15. Pigs are flying
Damon (in “Kill or Be Killed”): Relax, guys. No one’s killing anybody.
14. Just calling them like he sees them
Damon (to Sheriff Forbes in “Kill or Be Killed”): This is the most unfortunate situation. Two deputies dead. And you. What are we going to do with you?
13. Revenge of the herds
Damon (to Stefan in “Brave New World”): Aren’t you worried that one day all the little forest animals are going to band together and bite back? I mean, surely they talk.
12. Nothing small about this talk
Damon (in “Kill or Be Killed”): Hello, Mason. Working hard?
Mason: Doing my part.
Damon: I heard you were talking to Stefan.
Mason: Nice guy.
Damon: A lot nicer than me.
Mason: Nice is overrated.
Damon: That’s what I think.
11. Wolf. Where?
Damon (in “Bad Moon Rising”): If this wolf man thing is true, I’ve seen enough movies to know its not good. It means Mason Lockwood is a real life Lon Chaney and that little Tyler punk very well may be a Lon Chaney Junior; which means Bela Lugosi, meaning me, is totally screwed.
10. At least he knows it
Mason (at Jenna’s party in “Memory Lane”): I’ve heard great things about you.
Damon: Oh, really? That’s weird. ‘Cause I’m a dick.
20. No big deal
Alaric (in ”By the Light of the Moon”): Where is Mason anyway?
Damon: Decomposing in his truck.
19. Cocky much?
Damon (to Elena in “Bad Moon Rising”): Oh, come on. You know I chipped a little bit off your wall of hatred.
18. And now a weather report
Elena (in “The Return”): Hey. How are you doing?
Damon: Great Elena. I’m walking on sunshine. Thanks for asking.
17. Oh, snap!
Stefan(in “The Return”): What happened tonight when you thought she was Elena?
Damon: To risk another frown line encroaching on a very crowded forehead. We. Kissed.
16. And snap some more
Damon (to Bonnie in “The Return”): Now you need to stop with the witches brew. You’re starting to believe your own press.
15. Pigs are flying
Damon (in “Kill or Be Killed”): Relax, guys. No one’s killing anybody.
14. Just calling them like he sees them
Damon (to Sheriff Forbes in “Kill or Be Killed”): This is the most unfortunate situation. Two deputies dead. And you. What are we going to do with you?
13. Revenge of the herds
Damon (to Stefan in “Brave New World”): Aren’t you worried that one day all the little forest animals are going to band together and bite back? I mean, surely they talk.
12. Nothing small about this talk
Damon (in “Kill or Be Killed”): Hello, Mason. Working hard?
Mason: Doing my part.
Damon: I heard you were talking to Stefan.
Mason: Nice guy.
Damon: A lot nicer than me.
Mason: Nice is overrated.
Damon: That’s what I think.
11. Wolf. Where?
Damon (in “Bad Moon Rising”): If this wolf man thing is true, I’ve seen enough movies to know its not good. It means Mason Lockwood is a real life Lon Chaney and that little Tyler punk very well may be a Lon Chaney Junior; which means Bela Lugosi, meaning me, is totally screwed.
10. At least he knows it
Mason (at Jenna’s party in “Memory Lane”): I’ve heard great things about you.
Damon: Oh, really? That’s weird. ‘Cause I’m a dick.
9. Play it again
Damon (to Stefan in in “Brave New World”): Wait, wasn’t there a school carnival the night you staked Vicki? Talk about a town where history repeats itself.
8. Don’t be so hard on yourself
Katherine (in “Memory Lane”): Why so pouty?
Damon: I tried to kill a werewolf and failed. Now I feel like I’m not living up to my best self.
7. Poor Jeremy
Damon (to Jeremy in “Plan B”): Wow, your search for life’s purpose is as obvious as it is tragic.
6. It’s torture!
Damon (to Mason in “Plan B”): You can hurt. Good to know. I was afraid you were going to be some beastmaster with an affinity for pain.
5. The man in the mirror
Damon (in “Plan B”): I look at you and I see myself — a less-dashing, less-intelligent version… I’ve been where you are. Katherine will only rip your heart out. Let me do it for her.
4. That’s a two-for-one wish
Jeremy: Whose on Tyler Lockwood and the full moon?
Damon (in “By the Light of the Moon”): Vampire Barbie asked if she could handle it and I said why not? I figure if she screwed up he’d bite her and then I will be rid of two of my problems.
3. Hey, that was animal cruelty!
Damon (to Katherine in “Masquerade”): Sorry about your pet wolf. Maybe you should have kept him on a tighter leash.
2. Remember ‘dem days?
Damon (in “Rose”): Since we’re road trip bonding, remember the days when all you lived for was blood? You were the guy who’d rip someone apart for the fun of it.
Stefan: You mean when I was more like you?
Damon: Yes, Stefan. Exactly! Back when you put blood into me so I could be a big bad vampire. I wonder if Elena would be so quick to open her veins to that guy. By the way, what happened to thatguy? He was a hoot.
1. He’s got a point
Damon (in “Bad Moon Rising”): You know this whole pretending to hate me thing is getting a little silly.
Alaric: I don’t think she’s pretending. You did kill her brother.
Damon: There’s a huge asterisk to add to that statement. He came back to life.
Damon (to Stefan in in “Brave New World”): Wait, wasn’t there a school carnival the night you staked Vicki? Talk about a town where history repeats itself.
8. Don’t be so hard on yourself
Katherine (in “Memory Lane”): Why so pouty?
Damon: I tried to kill a werewolf and failed. Now I feel like I’m not living up to my best self.
7. Poor Jeremy
Damon (to Jeremy in “Plan B”): Wow, your search for life’s purpose is as obvious as it is tragic.
6. It’s torture!
Damon (to Mason in “Plan B”): You can hurt. Good to know. I was afraid you were going to be some beastmaster with an affinity for pain.
5. The man in the mirror
Damon (in “Plan B”): I look at you and I see myself — a less-dashing, less-intelligent version… I’ve been where you are. Katherine will only rip your heart out. Let me do it for her.
4. That’s a two-for-one wish
Jeremy: Whose on Tyler Lockwood and the full moon?
Damon (in “By the Light of the Moon”): Vampire Barbie asked if she could handle it and I said why not? I figure if she screwed up he’d bite her and then I will be rid of two of my problems.
3. Hey, that was animal cruelty!
Damon (to Katherine in “Masquerade”): Sorry about your pet wolf. Maybe you should have kept him on a tighter leash.
2. Remember ‘dem days?
Damon (in “Rose”): Since we’re road trip bonding, remember the days when all you lived for was blood? You were the guy who’d rip someone apart for the fun of it.
Stefan: You mean when I was more like you?
Damon: Yes, Stefan. Exactly! Back when you put blood into me so I could be a big bad vampire. I wonder if Elena would be so quick to open her veins to that guy. By the way, what happened to thatguy? He was a hoot.
1. He’s got a point
Damon (in “Bad Moon Rising”): You know this whole pretending to hate me thing is getting a little silly.
Alaric: I don’t think she’s pretending. You did kill her brother.
Damon: There’s a huge asterisk to add to that statement. He came back to life.
1 comment:
For the next episode Stefan wasn't always the good guy. He used to rip people apart just for the hell of it. He was just as badass as Damon maybe even worser than Damon. I can't wait for the next episode of The Vampire Diaries Season 2 Episode 15 extends some flashback friendly episode, taking us back to Stefan’s darker day.
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